First Post
Here I am again; standing on the edge of a weight loss journey ready to jump off. I am not new to this place; I’ve been here several times before. Yet, strangely, I feel fear. Why is it that the thought of having to lose 88 pounds causes my to be so afraid? Afraid that I can’t do it, afraid that it wont last, just plain afraid.
How did I get back here? I previously lost over 40 pounds on the divorce & depression diet.And was really happy with myself for the first time in a long time. I have since gained all 40 pounds back and then some. Now I am miserable and disgusted with myself. To top it all off my doctor wants me to lose at least 80 pounds. I was diagnosed with tachycardia, after several tests he told me my heart was in poor condition and I am only 41 years old. I can’t climb a flight of steps without being breathless. When my hubby and I went to Scotland I couldn’t walk uphill without feeling dizzy. It was awful.
Last night, for the first time in our five years together, my husband made a comment about my weight. He did so in a very supportive and concerned manner. Yet, it really, really bothered me. I realized that perhaps I am not the only one that is miserable with this excess weight. I went into the bathroom, closed the door, stripped off and took a good, hard look at myself. NOT HAPPY with what I saw. I then stepped on the scales and realized I weigh more now than I ever have in my life. Over 225 pounds; not good when you are only 5′2″ tall.
So today I find myself planning, goal making, doing all the math on how if I lose only 2 lbs a week then I should be able to lose the 80 pounds my doctor wants me to lose in less than a year. Ummm, yea right, if only it were that easy. But I already know it’s not that easy. So, here I sit planning mini goals, short term goals, long term goals, calorie counts etc. Next stop, checking into a weight watchers near me. I tried them before, they work if you follow the program. My problem I got so tired of counting points all the time. How many points is this, how many points have I ate today, how many points do I have left, and on and on. But then again, like I said, it works; and right now I need something that works!
Okay, that’s enough for one day; my mind is numb!
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I have recently started to be serious 10 days of being here. People have been great. Good luck and welcome to change that will stick.
I can tell you from experience that I did it and you can too. We have a lot in common.
I’m also a divorcee and my then rocky marriage led to a personal growth and change.
I’m 5′3″ and at myheaviest - 220 lbs. It took almost a year but I lost 70 lbs. Then due to an injury in yoga class I stopped working out for 9 months and gained 30.
I’ve been on this site faithfully since April and lost 25 of the 30.
Welcome back to the weightloss journey! If you are ready to committ, you can and will lose the 88 lbs.
I posted this awhile back…. I have done the same as you all my life, but the last couple of years have been different. Could be you’re ready for a change now, too. I hope this helps.
I may be a little slow, but I’ll get there! (and I’ll stay there)
Posted July 2, 2008 *
Go on, pass me by. You’ll all make your goals way before I do. And I don’t really care anymore. I used to beat myself up because I was maintaining week after week, sometimes even gaining a pound or two! But I have to say, look again at my weight ticker…… see a big loss? OK, look again, see a quick loss? That’s right. Slow and steady works. And stays off. I average 2 lbs a month. It took me 50 years of yo-yo dieting to learn that fast doesn’t work when it comes to weight loss. If you take your time your brain will reprogram itself to prefer healthy food. It’s a fact. And it’s true, as you age it just gets harder to lose. So start changing your brain now. My mantra is ‘only eat food that is good for me’. Of course I go off track from time to time, but I have come to realize the payoff is a gain and regret. I’m a slow learner, and I’m a slow loser and that’s OK with me. Please, please don’t be impatient. I just want to shake some of these gals I see on here who expect to lose 5 lbs a week and will do almost any crazy thing to do it! It will come back to haunt them, eventually, and then some.
Well I counted calories and fat grams and it wasn’t the funnest thing either but in reality it only took a few minutes of my day and it was worth it. Welcome to Buddyslim girl! You can reach all your weight loss goals. It will take some time but make no mistake, you can do this. Just don’t waste alot of time being off plan because that will just prolong it. You may make mistakes and that’s ok. Just learn from them and always move forwards. Huggs to you girl and good luck!
Wow! It was as if I wrote your blog. I too lost weight on the divorce/depression diet and I felt so great. It was so wonderful to get up in the morning and know that everything in my closet looked great on me. Unlike now where nothing fits right and nothing looks good. I so feel exactly how you do and I know that we can make it on this journey. I’m sure you know as well as I do that it just takes willpower and committment. The two things I have been lacking for about 4 years now. We can all change our habits if we just try.
Rhonda
It sounds like you know all the right things to do to loose the weight , it is just getting the right mindset.I believe that coming to this site daily and getting the encouragement that you get here will also help. Remember if you mess up ,don’t be too hard on yourself.We are human but get up and dust yourself off and keep going. Good luck on your journey and know you are not alone here!!!
